Monday, October 26, 2009

Football and Porn! (Very Vulgar: Do Not Read!) / Plus, The Boys' Book Club Is Back!

Readers, this story may or may not be accurate, but if it's worthy of consideration in the esteemed Pitchweekly, who is the LC to refuse coverage? It seems that a former K-State football player, Chase Mejia, may have left the gridiron for the adult film industry.

Apparently a sex-tape is circulating on adult sites in which Mejia (or someone looking very much like him) is seen performing an "Eiffel Tower." The description of the video (from the Pitch, via other sites) is as follows:

"A couple of beers and a game of spin the bottle leads to hot girl-on-girl action and the whole room fucking like champs...one dude even eats a slice of pizza while getting head!"

But what's an "Eiffel Tower?" The boys had to turn to the invaluable www.urbandictionary.com to figure it out:

"A threesome with two guys and a girl, where one guy is hitting it from behind, and the other guy is getting a blow job. The guys are high-fiving over the girl to make the Eiffel Tower shape."

Chip: "Oh, then I've constructed a bunch of Eiffel Towers without even knowing it. High-five!"

Judging from KU's performance against Oklahoma on Saturday, various members of our own team should also consider moving into pornography.

Chip: "I'd totally pay to see Reesing bang some sorostitutes. Is that weird, or normal?"

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Generally, the boys ignore any book that doesn't feature a vampire or zombie, but occasionally they like to read something a bit more...artistic. This month's selection is Padgett Powell's The Interrogative Mood: A Novel?, which is currently winning raves from the likes of the NY-Times Book Review. But what is its artistic "gimmick," you might ask? Each sentence of the book takes the form of a question. Let's take a look at the product description from Amazon:

"The acclaimed writer Padgett Powell is fascinated by what it feels like to walk through everyday life, to hear the swing and snap of American talk, to be both electrified and overwhelmed by the mad cacophony—the "muchness"—of America. The Interrogative Mood is Powell's playful and profound response, a bebop solo of a book in which every sentence is a question."

Chip: "Does this sound stupid to anyone else? Why should I read it? Shouldn't an author answer the questions he raises? Does it have any sex in it? Is there a twist ending? Is it as good as The Lost Symbol?"

Richard: "Why didn't I think of this? Does everything preposterous receive a book contract except for this blog? Should I teach this in next semester's Intro to Fiction course? Is it fiction?"

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Eiffel Tower? In other words, the devil's threesome. I would be more proud as a KU grad to see the football player be in the middle of the Holy Trinity, or let's make up a name...Panama Canal? (keeping with the landmark theme) which means being sandwiched between two sets of sweaty tits and a couple....yeah. This needs more thinking, what is a good landmark name we could put on the situation of a guy banging two chicks? And no silly references to landing on the Isle of Lesbos or dumb shit like that are allowed...conversation begins NOW!

leaning tower of pisa said...

Chip: "More like Leaning Tower of Penis, if you catch my meaning."